marybethsmarvels
Saturday, March 25, 2017
Wedding Day 1978
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Prism Perspective: Preamble
Prism Perspective, Chapter 3
As a little boy, Nick was a pleasure to his siblings. Being so medically involved and not ambulating until age 4, Nick posed no threat to toy ownership, vying for dinner table food, or selecting leisure activities for the evening. When younger sister, Mari, began to walk at one year of age, older sister Diane found it intolerable that Nick could not do the same. She made it her singular objective in her time spent with Nick to practice his steps regularly long before the days of baby walkers. Through her persistent efforts, Nick did learn to ambulate. However, he much preferred sitting cross legged, with each leg completely circumventing his hips to provide stability in the vertical position.
Television was just gaining popularity in the late 1950s. Nick could position himself six inches from the TV set, which was the limit of his visual clarity, and revel in the newest TV shows including Bonanza, Leave it to Beaver, Perry Mason, Jack Benny, the Ed Sullivan Show, and Dennis the Menace. Once his dinner was swallowed, Nick would settle in his cross-legged position for a two hour stint, with no arguments about channel selection since choices were limited. Then it was bath time and bedtime so that Margaret could tuck the others into bed once Nick was settled for the evening.
Bedtime always started in the kneeling position doing choral recitations of nightly prayers. "Hail Mary full of grace," or "Our Father". It was a precious sight to behold, children of all ages in their comfy night clothes, kneeling side by side with Mom and Dad, enjoying this religious ritual. Once in bed, all three children were kissed good night while the three older girls finished their homework in the living room.
Thursday, August 13, 2015
The Prism Perspective Summer 2015
What quickly becomes apparent is that our love was built on a foundation of spiritual faith. I didn't remember that clearly, but the letters remind me what a priority that was in selecting a soulmate. Our relationship was also based on a mutual interest in helping those differently abled. Bill and I met at a Thursday night recreation program for special needs adult and our first date was August 1975. We were both to begin our junior years in college in September.
On September 11, 1975, Bill writes, "I haven't really known you for all that long, but the love that I see you give to those less fortunate has overwhelmed me to a point of admiration. " Six days later he shares that "Saturday after the game some kids from the Pennsylvania ARC came over to visit. We had a great party. My fraternity is hosting an activity night for them on October 2. We are planning a magic show and a dance. I can't wait."
October 15, "Mari, we have both learned through working with special needs adults that love radiates from their hearts. To me this love is different than any I have ever known. I've done some pretty sentimental thinks in my life, though each and every time it's been while working with special needs children."
In January 1976, Bill wrote me that he had acquired a work study job at an alternative school connected with his university, Lehigh University and that he was thrilled to be assigned to a classroom, "possibly helping to teach." He did teach some content that year and it helped him earn credits toward his Lehigh degree.
Bill and I were not exclusively dating just each other at that point, so since we had both returned to our separate colleges, I wrote, "I loved the book you sent, Bill. It offered guidance on the last page. 'God speaks to us sometimes through our circumstances and guides us, closing doors as well as opening them. He will let you know what you must do, and what you must be.' I know that I can't make a decision right now as to who is best for me. Someday the Lord will make that decision for me. I've been praying that the Lord will lead me to the spouse that He has picked for me. It's been a long road so far--enjoyable but sprinkled with heartaches.
'Deliver us, O Lord, from the foolishness of impatience. Let us knot be in such a hurry as to run on without Thee. We know that it takes a lifetime to make a tree; we know that fruit does not ripen in an afternoon and Thou Thyself didst take a week to make the universe..... Slow us down, O Lord, that we may take time to think, time to pray, and time to find out Thy will. Then give us the sense and the courage to do it."
I made the right decision. On June 24, 1978, I married my soulmate, though it took many years to know that for sure. Clearly, God chose for me someone that helped me carry the burdens of raising a special needs sibling. That path evolved slowly, just as a path through the woods has many forks where choices can be made. It began in 1984, two years after the birth of our first children, twin boys. My parents knew we would appreciate more space than our townhome for raising children and offered that we could build in the empty lot they owned beside their home if in turn we agreed to assume responsibility for raising Nick if they became unable to do so at any time. It seemed like a no-brainer to Bill and I in terms of making that decision. We were going to be there for Nick no matter what that entailed, so getting a larger home in the bargain was a delightful bonus.
For 10 years we raised our family of 3 children side by side with my parents. We shared many daily tasks together, including yard work and driving to appointments. Then in June 1993, my father, Nicolas Dugan, passed away of a heart attack. That fork in the path had a clearly marked arrow sign and we did not hesitate to follow its lead.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
A Sibling with Special Needs
Welcome to my blog about my brother. I was the younger sister of Nick, by 3 years. Because of him, I served in all the following roles: sibling, babysitter, special education teacher in pull out programs and integrated classrooms, special education administrator, power of attorney, primary caregiver, medical proxy, and group home advocate. Nick passed in May of 2012 at age 59. He wasn't supposed to live past 12. Hey, docs, that is fulfilling his life expectancy five sequential times!! Nick taught me more about love than any other person. He taught me about the depth of my love and how resolved that could be in very difficult situations. He taught me about family love and how much it means just to be together. He taught me the power of community and of building a community around a loved one. Through this blog I hope to touch and teach others. I want to touch others with the power of a beautiful story. I want to teach others how to gather supporters around you instead of citing legal ramifications and plying others into providing for your loved ones needs. It is a powerful story that keeps surprising me by its intensity, yet it is a typical story, because we all have family burdens and family gems. I hope you will enjoy and participate. We have so much to learn from each other! Let the journey begin!
I am writing Nick's book one chapter at a time. I will sort them out later, as they may not be written in sequential order. Look at my blogposts labeled "The Prism Perspective" to read this story as it evolves!
Friday, February 22, 2013
The Prism Perspective, Chapter 1
As the Irish community grew, it began to establish its own institutions, including churches, schools, and social clubs. The Irish-American community in Lehigh County was particularly active in the labor movement, with many immigrants working in the coal mines and textile mills and joining unions to improve working conditions. The community was also politically active, with many Irish-Americans being elected to local office and serving in the state legislature.
Despite facing discrimination and prejudice, the Irish-American community in Lehigh County established itself as a significant and influential group. They made welcome contributions to the economy, culture and politics of the county.
Patrick Dugan was born in 1842 in Ireland. His father, Locklon, was 37 and his mother, Sarah, was 29. By the age of 8, Patrick’s family had emigrated to the United States and resided in New Hope, PA in 1850. He married Mary A Willoughby (also spelled Wilby) in 1879 when he was 37 years of age and they had four children together, John, Laurence, Eddy and then Nicholas John Dugan born, on May 18, 1884 in Copley, Pennsylvania. Patrick died in 1884 in Pennsylvania at the age of 42, and was buried in North Catasauqua, Pennsylvania. Mary Wilby remarried Bernard O’Neill and had 2 more children, Emma and James O’Neill. Mary died on March 30, 1942, in Catasauqua, Pennsylvania, when she was 81 years old.
George Holton was an officer of the Bryden Horseshoe. He was one of the rich industrialists of Catasauqua that enjoyed flaunting his wealth by building a prominent estate (1).
George traveled nationwide securing orders for his product. His most successful order involved the weekly train-car delivery of horseshoes to the British Government during the Boer War, 1899-1910. This transaction kept his Catasauqua factory running at full tilt, catapulting the Bryden facility as one of the largest industrial leaders in the Lehigh Valley. His success was likely a prominent reason that George Holton was favored by the boss’s youngest daughter, Jessica, and they married and had three children.
Nicholas James Dugan was a young man when he was hired on by the George Holton family as the family chauffeur. He was already a talented machinist, having developed his skill by working for the Atlas Cement, Bethlehem Steel, Lehigh Portland Cement, and Thomas Iron Works. He was bright and conscientious and eager to learn the modern technology of the decade. Nick was glad to trade the confinements of a factory line position for the chance to strut one of the first motor cars around town.
Nicholas’ excursions around town likely attracted the attention of the young ladies. In May 1908, Nicholas married Margaret Lynch, also from Catasauqua. Evidence of their strong attraction to each other was the birth of their first child, Loretta, on October 3, 1909. They were smitten.
Working for the Holton’s was a sure thing through these early years, and offered unique opportunities. In April 1911, Nicholas parlayed his mechanical talents into an entrepreneurial enterprise with George Wentz. They opened the first car-repair garage in town, catty-corner to the Holton home. On April 7, 1911, the Allentown Morning Call reported, “A general garage for the storage and repair of automobiles, motorcycles, bicycles, etcetera will be opened next week in the building formerly housing the merry-go-round on Bridge Street near Front by Charles Wentz and Nicholas Dugan. Messrs. Wentz and Dugan have purchased the stock and fixtures of a Weissport garage and will have them here by the forepart of next week. Mr. Dugan, who is an experienced machinist and and practical chauffeur will have charge of the repair work. He is well qualified for this position, having been in the employ of George Holton in his private garage for the past several years.”
In July 1911, George Wentz sold his interests to Nicholas’ brother-in-law, Philip Lynch, who declared similar mechanical interests. Above the indoor garage on 115 and 117 Pine Street, Philip and Nick incorporated two apartments for each of their respective families. Philip moved in with his lovely and cultured wife, Annie, and on January 27, 1912 Nicholas and Margaret set up their residence in the adjoining apartment. Now after breakfast, the men simply had to amble downstairs to attend to their business of storing and grooming cars and providing cars for hire.
Though this partnership enjoyed cutting edge timing, it had its challenges. On December 6, 1912, the Allentown Morning Call reported, “As a result of a series of accidents, both members of the firm of Lynch and Dugan, proprietors of Catasauqua Garage are suffering from fractured limbs. A week ago, Nicholas Dugan, while cranking an automobile belonging to George Holton, president of the Bryden Horse Shoe Works, was struck on the wrist with the handle and the bone was broken. Five days later, a like fate befell his partner, Philip Lynch, who was struck on the leg by the crank of an automobile. His knee cap was dislocated.” These physical injuries were common occurrences in the hands-on, factory type business models of the early 1900s.
All was going along swimmingly for Nicholas and Margaret when their daughter Loretta was born in October 1909. Along with cherishing their daughter, they raised white orpington chickens and showed them in farm competitions. Loretta was well coifed for town outings with the family. The family of three enjoyed potluck meal, storytellers who visited the garage, trips to the Catty Park for community outings, music from local entertainers and possibly hayride in the fall. As Loretta became school age, they likely spent evenings playing cards, marbles, checkers, jacks or chess. They looked forward to expanding on their wealth and success, however, in 1916 they lost a daughter who survived just 3 days.
Nicholas and Margaret were survivors. When the going got tough, they pulled up their bootstraps and rallied ahead. On September 27, 1917, the Morning Call reported, “Mr. and Mrs. Philip Lynch, Mrs. Susan Lynch, and Mrs. Nicholas Dugan motored to Bridgeport (a section of Philadelphia) and spent the forepart of the week with relatives.” Clearly, their comings and goings were Allentown newsworthy features to be read by other Lehigh Valley citizens.
On October 17, 1918 Nicholas and Margaret experienced another miscarriage. This was just at the time that Pennsylvania was being struck by the Spanish Flu. The 1918 “Spanish flu,” killed 60,000 people in the state of Pennsylvania alone, with an unusually high death rate among healthy adults 15-34 years of age, atypical of most epidemics. Pregnant women were at an even greater risk for complications. Philadelphia was especially hard hit due to the dense population and the presence of 300,000 additional wartime workers. Many residents, specifically poor and working-class immigrants, lived and worked together in crowded, unhygienic conditions. Doctors and public health officials did not understand the cause for the disease nor did they have the medical advances to effectively combat it. Beginning in October 1918, schools and public meetings began to be banned, though for short periods of time, perhaps two weeks duration. Public health officials underestimated the severity of this contagious disease and overestimated their ability to keep it contained. To complicate matters, 75% of Philadelphia doctors and nurses had been called away to the war effort, putting even more strain on local hospitals. (4).
With hospitals and medical facilities overwhelmed with patients, in many cases, medical staff were challenged to keep accurate records of births and deaths. The sheer number of patients they were treating daily impacted their ability to maintain the paper trail. Additionally, local government offices experienced so many employee absences that they could not keep track of births and death records. Many babies born during this time period were not officially recorded. Families were also separated or displaced during the pandemic, making it difficult for parents to register the birth of their child. The flu came on so unexpectedly and since healthy adults of child-bearing years were the most hard hit, mothers and fathers died from the flu before they could register their child’s birth. The lack of a birth certificate presented significant challenges for the orphan. Without official documentation, the child was unable to access government services such as social security, healthcare, and retirement. It was a problem that would continue to haunt them for the rest of their lives.
Yet in November 1918, Margaret and Nick decided that adopting a daughter of unknown birth would help them recover from the loss of their own baby just one month prior. They joyfully received their precious baby daughter right before the holiday season, a true Advent and Christmas gift for a faithful Catholic couple. As a toddler, Margaret’s youthful joy revived Nick and Margaret’s spirits and helped them re-engage in the joys of family life. Yet soon after the winter of 1919, Nicholas became seriously ill with pneumonia. His illness was published in the Allentown Morning Call again, perhaps so his customers could predict his availability. It was truly a “peaks and valleys” time, with the successes and setbacks. As Nick recouped from his illness, he likely doted on both his daughters, whose age differences made their interests quite diverse. When news came that Margaret was expecting again, they were cautious but elated. Never did they expect that midway through they pregnancy they would lose their eldest and first born child, Loretta, in February 1921. The entire town showed up for the burial, a situation that mimicked every parents’ worst nightmare. Just three months later, in May of 1921 their next child arrived in 1921, a beloved son, Nicholas Joseph Dugan. His name reflected the changing of the guard. Though he was given the first name of his father, he maintained his upcoming individuality with his alternate middle name.
Nicholas James and Margaret were well revered in local society. Their social ventures were noted in the newspapers. Nicholas was honored by the Catasauqua T.A.B. for increasing their membership in one year from 125 to 200. The 75 new members added a vitality to the social gathering hall that sported basketball courts, boxing matches, and local pick up team challenges. T.A.B. members were mostly Irish Catholics from St. Lawrence Church. Nick relished being a leader amongst his peers, particularly since he was the boy raised without a father. His well suited spouse rallied interest from others about their daily activities. They were an unusually successful couple who enjoyed trips to Philadelphia and Weatherly, picking up cars for the business, visiting relatives, and flaunting their transportation successes.
In the quiet of the evening, they mulled over financial records and put their babies to bed. Baby Nicholas was spoiled with the new Teddy Bear, which Margaret carried around more than her brother could. Occasionally, the adults enjoyed a bit of illegally acquired moonshine and continued their attempts to conceive and another infant. Another bout of joy and sorrow when Mary was born prematurely at 7 months on April 1, 1923 and died the same day in the hospital. This time a burial was required, so a coffin was purchased and Mary was set to rest in North Catasuaqua cemetery.
Still the Lynch Dugan business prospered. In 1923 they purchased the property across the street from their original garage. (2) The site at 120 Pine Street, Catasauqua, was originally a blacksmith shop, but consumer interest was shifting from wagons, wagon wheels and horseshoeing to the amazement of the automobile. The open porticos of the blacksmith building became perfect wide-berthed window enclosures, perfect for a showroom for their Ford Motor Company vehicles.
Nicholas and Marguerite were committed to growing their family. Susan was added to the family on July 2, 1924. Early in Susan’s life, epilepsy reared its ugly head, causing increasing blindness as she aged. The final blow to their family union was when Nicholas James contracted pneumonia and died in 1925.
Nicholas’ widow, Margaret, valiantly assumed his position alongside her brother Philip Lynch, making trips to car shows in Philadelphia, quite an unlikely action for a woman in those years. In response to their challenges, they tried shifting manufacturers to Hudson/Essex, then to Flint/Durant/Star and in 1928 back to Ford. Raising three children while maintaining a business was no easy task. In 1932 they discontinued the car sales and continued with just auto maintenance. Philip and Margaret held the business together until Nicholas Joseph Dugan was old enough to begin work, sometime in his teen years.
Nick, Jr. pumped gas, listened to the men in the garage office sharing stories over the cold soda machine, and learned the automobile trade. It was a struggle to be grounded for a teen with no dad, and Nick did not graduate from Catasauqua High School, yet revered the value of education for the remainder of his life. Nick was content to be homebound until 1942. Peers were drafted to the war when the United States responded to the Pearl Harbor tragedy. Nick was given a military waiver so he could maintain the business and provide for his family. Yet the national spirit of males his age was to contribute to the war efforts. By 1943 Nick could no longer remain at home with a good conscience. He signed up for duty and off he went to England.
Footnotes
1 HTTP://HIMEDO.NET/THEHOPKINTHOMASPROJECT/COALFIREIRONSTEEL/APPENDICES/CATASAUQUAINDUSTRYRESIDENCES/
CatasauquaIndustries/Bryden.htm
2. Historic Catasauqua Preservation Association. HTTP://HISTORICCATASAUQUAHCPA.ORG/PINE-ST-BUSINESS-AND-RESIDENTIAL-PINE-ST-BUSINESS-DISTRICT/
3. Morning Call, Friday, December 6, 1912, Page 14.
4. Shetty, Mira, 2018, Penn and the 1918 Influenza Epidemic DOI: HTTPS://ARCHIVES.UPENN.EDU/EXHIBITS/PENN-HISTORY/FLU/CONCLUSION/
